Published on: Wed, 01 Apr 2026 00:18:06 GMT
Original Story: Trump tells allies ‘get your own oil’, says Iran war could end in 2-3 weeks – Al Jazeera

Trump’s Oil Plan: Another Week, Another Flip-Flop

So, Donald Trump, our erstwhile dealmaker-in-chief, is back at it again, folks. This time, he’s reportedly telling allies to “get your own oil” and casually suggesting a war with Iran could wrap up in a breezy “2-3 weeks.” Because, you know, international relations are just like flipping houses – quick, easy, and definitely not fraught with decades of geopolitical baggage. Anyone remember when he was touting “energy independence” and how the US was going to be the world’s energy superpower?

“Get Your Own Oil”: A Masterclass in Diplomacy?

Let’s unpack this gem, shall we? “Get your own oil.” It sounds like something you’d yell at your freeloading roommate who keeps raiding your fridge. But no, this is apparently the new foreign policy doctrine. I mean, why bother with nuanced negotiations, trade agreements, or even basic human decency when you can just tell everyone to fend for themselves? I’m sure our allies are thrilled to hear that their security concerns are being reduced to a simple supply-side problem. “Just drill, baby, drill,” but, like, somewhere else.

The sheer audacity of telling allies to secure their own oil while simultaneously implying that the U.S. might be on the verge of another Middle Eastern escapade is… well, it’s peak Trump. It’s like offering someone a life raft while simultaneously poking holes in their boat. And let’s not forget how, back in 2018, he was all about blaming OPEC for high oil prices and demanding they increase production. Now he’s seemingly advocating for a free-for-all? Consistency, thy name is not Donald.

Remember “Energy Independence”? Yeah, About That…

Remember when “energy independence” was the buzzword? The U.S. was going to be a net exporter, a global energy powerhouse, blah blah blah. And to some extent that happened. But the idea that we could just wash our hands of global oil markets and tell everyone else to sort it out is, frankly, delusional. Oil is a global commodity, and what happens in the Middle East has a direct impact on prices here at home, no matter how much we pump out of the Permian Basin.

And speaking of the Permian Basin, how much of that “energy independence” relied on fracking? And how much environmental damage are we willing to tolerate in the pursuit of cheaper gas prices? These are questions that apparently get swept under the rug when you’re busy tweeting about “fake news” and starting trade wars.

The “2-3 Week” Iran War: A Casual Prediction

Oh, and let’s not forget the casual mention of a potential war with Iran wrapping up in “2-3 weeks.” Because wars are just like episodes of your favorite streaming show, right? You binge them, you’re done, and everyone goes home happy. Except, you know, wars have a nasty habit of dragging on, costing trillions of dollars, and leaving a trail of death and destruction in their wake.

It’s almost as if Trump is trying to lower expectations preemptively. “Hey, if we do invade Iran, don’t worry, it’ll be over before you can say ‘collateral damage.'” The sheer recklessness of these kinds of statements is mind-boggling. But then again, this is the same guy who, back in 2016, promised to end the “endless wars” in the Middle East. So much for that promise, huh?

The Tariff Man Cometh (Again)

And while we’re on the subject of consistency, let’s not forget about tariffs. Trump’s trade wars were supposed to bring manufacturing back to the U.S., create jobs, and make America great again. What they actually did was raise prices for consumers, hurt farmers, and create uncertainty in the global economy. But hey, at least he got to tweet about how he was “Tariff Man.”

So, what’s the connection between tariffs, oil, and war? Well, they’re all part of the same chaotic, unpredictable, and ultimately self-defeating approach to foreign policy and the economy. It’s a strategy based on gut feelings, impulsive decisions, and a complete disregard for the long-term consequences. And we, the American people, get to pay the price.

Snarky Takeaway

So, to sum it all up: Trump wants allies to “get their own oil,” thinks a war with Iran could be over in a couple of weeks, and probably still believes tariffs are a good idea. It’s like watching a reality TV show where the contestants are running the world. And the worst part? We’re all stuck watching it, whether we like it or not. Pass the popcorn…and maybe a stiff drink.