Published on: Sun, 15 Mar 2026 17:01:16 GMT
Original Story: ‘No friends but the mountains.’ Kurds want Trump’s help for Iran ground war – USA Today

Trump’s New BFFs: Kurdish Ground Troops?

Alright folks, buckle up. Because the geopolitical rollercoaster is about to make a loop-de-loop. Remember how, not even that long ago, the entire commentariat was melting down over Trump allegedly abandoning the Kurds in Syria? Good times. Well, hold onto your hats because now, sources are whispering that some Kurdish factions are angling for Trump’s help with, wait for it, a ground war in Iran. Yes, you read that right. Because what could possibly go wrong?

From Abandonment to Alliance: A Real Head-Scratcher

Let’s recap, shall we? The narrative, for a hot minute there, was that Trump was leaving the Kurds to twist in the wind, betrayed by the Great Orange One himself. Turkey certainly wasn’t thrilled with Kurdish groups operating along its border, and Trump’s withdrawal of troops in 2019 was widely seen as greenlighting Turkish operations against them. Accusations of throwing allies under the bus flew faster than a MAGA hat at a rally. And now? The same folks potentially want to be Trump’s point men for an invasion of Iran? I need a drink.

What’s the Endgame Here?

Sources (and you know how reliable those can be) indicate some Kurdish groups, feeling increasingly cornered, see Trump’s potential return to power as an opportunity. Their reasoning? A Trump administration, supposedly more hawkish on Iran, might be willing to back a ground offensive. It’s a high-stakes gamble, to say the least. They’re essentially betting the farm on Trump’s foreign policy whims, a strategy that historically has about the same success rate as betting on the Cleveland Browns to win the Super Bowl.

The Iran Factor: A Powder Keg Waiting to Explode

Let’s not forget the elephant in the room: Iran. Any hint of a foreign-backed ground war inside Iran’s borders is going to set off, at minimum, a regional firestorm. And we all know how smoothly those tend to go. The implications for global oil prices alone would be enough to make your 401k spontaneously combust. But hey, at least we’d have something to talk about at the water cooler (if anyone still goes to the office, that is).

Back in 2018, Trump unilaterally withdrew the U.S. from the Iran nuclear deal (JCPOA), calling it the “worst deal ever.” At the time, the stated goal was to pressure Iran back to the negotiating table and curb its nuclear ambitions. Now, fast forward to today, and we’re potentially looking at a scenario where a Trump administration is backing a ground war to achieve… what, exactly? Regime change? A weakened Iran? A full-blown regional war? The lack of coherent strategy is just *chef’s kiss*.

Didn’t We Learn Anything From Iraq?

Seriously, folks. Has everyone forgotten the quagmire that was the Iraq War? Another instance of the U.S. getting involved in a messy Middle Eastern conflict based on dubious intelligence and even more dubious justifications. And how did that turn out? Spoiler alert: not great. So, the idea of repeating that same mistake, but this time in Iran, with Kurdish forces acting as proxies? It’s enough to make you question whether anyone in Washington has a functional memory. Or, you know, a basic understanding of history.

Trump’s Shifting Sands: Consistency? Never Heard of Her.

The real kicker here is Trump’s track record on foreign policy. It’s about as predictable as the weather in April. One day he’s talking about withdrawing from endless wars, the next he’s flirting with intervention in Venezuela. One day he’s cozying up to dictators, the next he’s slapping them with sanctions. So, the notion that anyone, including the Kurds, can reliably predict what a second Trump term would look like is, to put it mildly, optimistic. It’s more like wishful thinking fueled by desperation.

And let’s be honest, the Kurds have been burned before. The 2019 Syria withdrawal isn’t exactly ancient history. So, why they’d be willing to trust Trump again, especially on something as monumental as a ground war in Iran, is beyond me. Maybe they’re just banking on the “enemy of my enemy is my friend” principle. Or maybe they’ve just run out of better options. Either way, it’s a risky bet.

The Border Angle: Because Everything’s Connected, Right?

So, why is this classified under “The Border & Extreme Vetting”? Because, surprise surprise, foreign policy decisions have consequences. A destabilized Iran, a regional war, a potential refugee crisis… all of that has ripple effects that eventually reach our shores. Increased pressure on our borders, heightened security concerns, the whole nine yards. It’s all interconnected. And the idea that we can just blithely stumble into another Middle Eastern conflict without thinking about the downstream implications is, frankly, terrifying.

The “Extreme Vetting” Conundrum

Remember Trump’s promises of “extreme vetting” for immigrants and refugees? Well, a ground war in Iran is a surefire way to create a whole lot more refugees. And while I’m sure the vetting process will be extremely thorough (eye roll), the reality is that any large-scale displacement of people is going to strain our resources and present security challenges. It’s just basic cause and effect.

Snarky Takeaway

So, to recap: the Kurds might want Trump’s help to invade Iran. Trump, who once abandoned the Kurds, might be amenable. And this whole thing is somehow going to make our borders more secure. If you can explain the logic behind that, please, by all means, enlighten me. Because all I see is a recipe for disaster served with a generous helping of geopolitical chaos. Pass the antacids.