Published on: Wed, 11 Mar 2026 21:31:13 GMT
Original Story: Trump touts economic agenda on tour as Iran war stirs prices, GOP dissent – The Washington Post

Trump’s “Economic Genius” Tour Fuels More Doubt

So, Donald Trump is hitting the road again, bless his heart. This time it’s an “economic agenda” tour. Because, you know, *gestures vaguely at everything* the economy is just thriving, and it’s all thanks to him. According to reports, he’s promising more of the same magic that apparently made America great… before it wasn’t again. I guess we forgot to thank him enough the first time.

The Iran Factor: Oil Prices and Political Headaches

Of course, this “economic agenda” tour conveniently ignores the elephant in the room: The escalating tensions with Iran. You know, the country we were *totally* not going to get into another war with? But hey, war drums mean potentially higher oil prices, and higher oil prices mean… well, you’ve seen the gas pump lately, haven’t you? This isn’t exactly the kind of economic “boom” most people are looking for. Remember that time in 2016 when Trump railed against Obama for even *considering* negotiating with Iran? He called it a “disaster.” Now, we are staring down the barrel of, if not war, then certainly a massively destabilized region, thanks in part to his own policies of withdrawing from the Iran nuclear deal.

GOP Dissent: Not Everyone’s Drinking the Kool-Aid

Adding insult to injury, even some Republicans are starting to squirm. Apparently, not everyone is thrilled with the prospect of another Middle Eastern quagmire tanking the economy just in time for the election. Can you imagine? Republicans actually thinking about the long-term consequences? It’s like seeing a unicorn ride a bicycle. He’s promising tax cuts and deregulation, because apparently, we didn’t already try that enough. The whole “trickle-down economics” thing worked *so* well the first time, right? Just ask all the billionaires who saw their wealth skyrocket while the rest of us fought over scraps.

The Tariff Tango: A Repeat Performance of Economic “Mastery”

And let’s not forget the tariffs. Oh, the tariffs. The glorious trade wars that were supposed to make America rich again. Instead, they just made everything more expensive and created a whole lot of uncertainty for businesses. But hey, at least some Chinese companies got a good laugh out of it. I specifically remember in 2018 when he declared that tariffs were “easy to win” and that “trade wars are good, and easy to win.” Fast forward to the present, and we’re still dealing with the fallout from those “easy” victories. Farmers are *thrilled*, consumers are *delighted*, and the economy is just… *vibrating* with success.

Deregulation Dreams: Unleashing the Corporate Kraken

Then there’s the promise of more deregulation. Because, you know, fewer rules are always better. Especially when it comes to things like environmental protection and worker safety. Who needs clean air and a safe workplace when you can have…slightly higher corporate profits? It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off for them. I am sure that future generations won’t mind the sacrifice.

The “Economic Agenda” Defined

So, what exactly *is* this “economic agenda”? It seems to be a greatest hits compilation of Trump’s previous economic policies: Tax cuts for the wealthy, deregulation, and tariffs. Throw in a healthy dose of saber-rattling with Iran for good measure, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for… something. It’s definitely a recipe. Is it a delicious, nourishing recipe for economic prosperity? That remains to be seen. More likely, it’s a recipe for more of the same economic volatility that we’ve come to expect.

A Trip Down Memory Lane: Promises, Promises

Let’s face it: Trump’s economic promises have a track record. He promised to eliminate the national debt in eight years. He promised to bring back manufacturing jobs. He promised to renegotiate trade deals and make them “fairer” for America. And while some of those things happened to a certain extent, the overall picture is a bit more… complicated. The national debt is still astronomically high. Manufacturing jobs have increased, but not by the massive numbers he predicted. And those “fairer” trade deals? Well, they’ve certainly generated a lot of headlines, at least.

Snarky Takeaway

So, as Trump embarks on his “economic agenda” tour, it’s worth remembering the old adage: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice… well, you know the rest. It’s also worth remembering that the economy is a complex beast, and simplistic solutions rarely work. But hey, at least it’ll be entertaining to watch. Get your popcorn ready.