Old Man Yells at Bunny and Gold Medals

Published on: Mon, 09 Feb 2026 03:39:00 GMT
Original Story: Trump calls US Olympic athlete a loser, rips Bad Bunny halftime show – The Palm Beach Post

Welcome to the Yearly Performance Review of ‘Merica

Ah, morning. The sun is up, the Slack notifications are already haunting my dreams like a sentient spreadsheet, and the man who spent four years treating the Constitution like a “Terms and Conditions” agreement he didn’t read is back at it. Today’s targets in the ongoing “Who Is Disappointing Donald” sweepstakes? An Olympic athlete and a global superstar who speaks a language he hasn’t bothered to learn. Honestly, I’ve had quarterly performance reviews less soul-crushing than this. God, I need more caffeine and a lobotomy.

Apparently, being one of the top five people on the entire planet at a specific physical feat isn’t enough to secure “winner” status in the eyes of the Mar-a-Lago peanut gallery. No, if you don’t bow low enough, or if you dare to have a personality that wasn’t focus-grouped by a Super PAC, you’re a “loser.” It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if calling world-class athletes failures works for a guy whose most strenuous physical activity is deciding which shade of bronzer says “I definitely have a plan for the healthcare system” while driving a golf cart over a delicate ecosystem.

Then we have the Bad Bunny critique. Remember the Super Bowl? Remember when we used to just argue about whether the wings were too spicy or if the commercials were funny? Now, every cultural moment has to be filtered through the lens of a grievance machine that is permanently set to “cranky grandpa.” Ripping a halftime show is the ultimate “get off my lawn” move, except the lawn is a multi-billion dollar entertainment industry and the grandpa is currently trying to convince us that a reggaeton star is the downfall of Western civilization. It’s the classic “I don’t understand it, so it’s a threat” trope, which is basically the mission statement for the 2024 campaign.

This is the ultimate Loyalty Test, isn’t it? In this version of reality, you’re either a sycophant or a target. There is no middle ground. You’re either singing the praises of the golden escalator or you’re a “low-IQ” loser who probably hates freedom and loves gluten-free bread. If an Olympian—someone who literally wears the flag as a job—is a “loser” because they aren’t a MAGA cheerleader, then the definition of “American” has officially been narrowed down to “People who think the 2020 election results were merely a creative writing exercise.”

I’m just an Elder Millennial trying to survive the collapse of the social contract while paying $14 for a mediocre avocado toast, but even I can see the pattern. This isn’t about sports or music; it’s about signaling to the base that anything “other” is “bad.” If you aren’t a cog in the grievance wheel, you’re the sand in the gears. And frankly, the sand is starting to look like the only thing with any integrity left. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have three Zoom calls I plan to attend with my camera off while staring blankly into the middle distance. Happy Tuesday.

Related Coverage:

• Trump calls Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl halftime show performance ‘one of the worst, EVER’ (via cnn.com)
• Donald Trump reacts to Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl halftime show (via MassLive.com)
• Trump Has Betrayed the People of Coal Country. They Love Him Anyway. (via Mother Jones)