Oil Prices Up? Blame Biden (Again).

Published on: Tue, 10 Mar 2026 01:41:58 GMT
Original Story: Trump Seeks to Calm Oil and Gas Markets but Says Iran War Will Go On – The New York Times

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Trump’s Two-Step: Oil Prices and Iranian Fireworks

Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we’re about to dive headfirst into another episode of “Trump Says What Now?” This time, it’s all about oil prices, Iran, and the delicate dance of trying to sound like you know what you’re doing while simultaneously threatening to launch World War III. Our former (and potentially future, *shudder*) president is apparently on a mission to soothe the jittery nerves of the oil and gas markets. Why? Well, rising gas prices don’t exactly scream “economic boom” as you’re gearing up for an election, now do they?

Soothing Words…and War Drums?

Here’s the gist: Trump, fresh off… well, whatever it is he’s been doing lately (golfing? Tweeting? Plotting?), has decided it’s time to play the statesman. He’s whispering sweet nothings to the oil industry, promising deregulation and drilling permits galore if he gets back into office. The goal? To flood the market with enough black gold to make even T. Boone Pickens blush and, of course, bring those gas prices down. The underlying assumption, naturally, is that you, the average American, are a simpleton who will equate cheap gas with a thriving economy and therefore vote accordingly. It’s textbook stuff, really.

But here’s where it gets interesting. In the same breath that he’s promising oil abundance, he’s also ratcheting up the rhetoric on Iran. According to *The New York Times*, he’s essentially saying, “We want cheap oil, but also, Iran is still a major problem, and a war is totally still on the table.” It’s like trying to bake a cake while simultaneously setting the kitchen on fire. Good luck with that, buddy.

Déjà Vu All Over Again (Especially the Hypocrisy)

Remember back in 2018, when Trump unilaterally pulled the US out of the Iran nuclear deal? He claimed it was a terrible agreement that didn’t do enough to curb Iran’s nuclear ambitions. The move was championed by his then-National Security Advisor John Bolton, a man who seemed to salivate at the thought of bombing Tehran back to the Stone Age. The stated goal was to cripple Iran’s economy through sanctions, thereby forcing them back to the negotiating table to make a “better deal.”

Except, surprise, surprise, it didn’t work. Instead, Iran ramped up its nuclear program, tensions in the Middle East skyrocketed, and oil prices…well, let’s just say your wallet felt it. Now, he’s trying to play both sides of the fence. Appease the oil markets while simultaneously rattling the saber at one of the world’s major oil producers. It’s a high-wire act with no net, folks, and it’s all being done with your hard-earned dollars and your tenuous grasp on sanity.

The “Art of the Deal”…or the Art of the Contradiction?

The core of this whole mess boils down to a fundamental contradiction in Trump’s worldview (if you can even call it that). He wants to be seen as a strong leader, unafraid to take decisive action, even if that action involves threatening military intervention. But he also wants to be seen as a champion of the common man, delivering cheap gas and a booming economy. The problem is, these two goals are often mutually exclusive, especially when dealing with the volatile political landscape of the Middle East.

The Saudis: Our Unofficial Oil Price Stabilizers?

Let’s be real. Trump’s plan likely hinges on one thing: Saudi Arabia. He needs the Saudis to keep the oil flowing, even if tensions with Iran escalate. This, of course, conveniently ignores the fact that the Saudis have their own agenda, which may or may not align with Trump’s desire for pre-election cheap gas. And let’s not forget the whole Khashoggi thing. Awkward.

The Impact on Your Wallet (and Your Sanity)

So, what does all this mean for you, the average schmoe trying to fill up your gas tank and pay your bills? It means uncertainty. It means you’re at the mercy of geopolitical forces you can’t control, manipulated by politicians who see you as nothing more than a voting bloc. It means that the price of gas could spike tomorrow if Trump sneezes in the wrong direction. It’s the American dream, baby!

Snarky Takeaway

Here’s the deal: Trump’s oil and Iran strategy is about as coherent as a toddler’s finger painting. He’s trying to promise cheap gas while simultaneously stoking the flames of war, a feat that requires either a miracle or a level of self-delusion that would make even a seasoned politician blush. So, keep your eyes on the pump, folks, and maybe start investing in a good bicycle. You know, just in case.

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