Published on: Sun, 08 Feb 2026 21:10:00 GMTOriginal Story: JD Vance represents nation at Olympics. Why is Trump not there? – The Columbus Dispatch The Joy of Being Voluntold Ah, the “business trip.” Those of us who have spent the last fifteen years staring at a dual-monitor setup until our retinas burned out know exactly what this is. It’s not a vacation; it’s a hostage situation with better catering and significantly worse sleep. So, when I see JD Vance touching down in Paris to “represent the nation” at the Olympics, I don’t see a statesman. I see a man who just got “voluntold” for the 4:00 PM Friday status update because the CEO couldn’t be bothered to put on pants with a zipper. It’s the ultimate “per my last email” moment played out on a global stage. The Columbus Dispatch is out here asking the big questions: “Why is Trump not there?” Seriously? Have you met the man? Donald Trump doesn’t do “supporting roles.” He doesn’t do “standing in a crowd of athletes who are physically fitter than him.” And he certainly doesn’t do things where the spotlight might accidentally hit a pommel horse specialist for three seconds too long. Sending JD Vance to Paris is the ultimate corporate hand-off. It’s the political equivalent of forwarding a 50-thread email chain with the message: “JD, can you take point on this? Moving you to BCC. Thanks!” The Hillbilly in the City of Light There is something inherently hilarious about JD Vance—the man whose entire brand is “I am from a place with more rust than oxygen”—wandering around Paris. I can almost see the internal Slack messages from the campaign headquarters. “JD, make sure you look relatable, but also like you aren’t terrified of a baguette. Also, don’t mention the couches. The French take furniture very seriously, and we can’t afford another PR cycle about upholstery.” This is “The Loyalty Test” in its purest, most exhausting form. You don’t get to be the running mate without doing the grunt work. In the corporate world, this is the guy who has to go to the trade show in Las Vegas—not the fun part of Vegas, but the part where you stand in a carpeted convention center for twelve hours talking to people named Gary about logistics software. In the political world, it’s being the “designated representative” at an event where the main attraction is people running very fast in spandex while you try to explain why you’re definitely a “normal” choice for VP. Checking the Vibes and the Per Diem Trump staying home is the ultimate power move of a boss who has already checked out for the quarter. Why go to Paris when you can stay in Bedminster, complain about the air conditioning, and shout into the digital void? He’s reached the “Senior VP” level of the campaign where he only appears for the quarterly town hall and to occasionally fire people via a leaked memo. Vance, meanwhile, is stuck in the “Middle Management” phase, trying to prove he’s a team player by enduring a transatlantic flight and pretending to care about the nuances of the 400-meter individual medley. So, to the Dispatch: he’s not there because he doesn’t have to be. He’s got a guy for that now. And that guy is currently in Paris, probably looking for a Diet Mountain Dew because the espresso cups are “too small and elitist.” Welcome to the executive track, JD. It only gets more soul-crushing from here. Just wait until they ask you to lead the “culture committee” for the transition team. Related Coverage: Democratic Sen. Schiff says Trump intends to ‘subvert’ 2026 midterm elections (via ABC News) Trump accepts ownership of the current economy: ‘I’m very proud of it’ (via NBC News) President Trump Showcases Historic Successes, Future Vision in Exclusive NBC Interview (via The White House (.gov)) Post navigation Green Day Triggers National Crisis for Fragile Patriots Republican Discovers ‘Principles’ Are Career Suicide