Trump: Playing Kingmaker in Tehran? Seriously?

Published on: Thu, 05 Mar 2026 16:39:23 GMT
Original Story: Exclusive: Trump says he must be involved in picking Iran’s next leader – Axios

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Trump’s Audition for Supreme Leader?

Alright, folks, buckle up, because we’ve officially entered the Twilight Zone. According to Axios, Donald Trump, the man who brought you “covfefe” and the art of the deal (which usually involved stiffing contractors), now apparently believes he should have a say in who leads Iran. Yes, *that* Iran. The one he was practically itching to bomb back in 2019.

I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, “Did I accidentally wander into a parallel universe where Trump is a foreign policy guru?” Me too. But alas, no. This is our reality. Or, at least, Trump’s version of it.

Déjà Vu All Over Again

Let’s not forget, this is the same guy who, in 2018, unilaterally pulled the US out of the Iran nuclear deal (JCPOA), an agreement painstakingly negotiated by the Obama administration and international partners. He called it the “worst deal ever,” remember? The deal that *limited* Iran’s nuclear capabilities in exchange for sanctions relief? Yeah, that one. He trashed it, then ramped up sanctions to “bring Iran to its knees,” promising a better deal. Spoiler alert: It didn’t happen. Iran’s nuclear program, by most accounts, is now more advanced than it was before the JCPOA. So, mission accomplished?

Now, suddenly, he wants to be involved in picking their next leader? It’s like he’s auditioning for a role in a bad geopolitical sitcom. What changed? Did he finally realize that his “maximum pressure” campaign was about as effective as using a wet noodle to stop a tank? Or is this just another case of Trump saying whatever pops into his head at any given moment, consequences be damned?

The Fine Print (Because There’s Always Fine Print)

Axios doesn’t elaborate on how, exactly, Trump envisions himself influencing Iran’s leadership selection process. Is he planning to endorse a candidate on Truth Social? Maybe send Rudy Giuliani over to Tehran for some “fact-finding”? The possibilities, as horrifying as they are, are endless.

And let’s be real, this isn’t about Iran. It’s about Trump. It’s about him inserting himself into every major global event, regardless of his actual expertise or the potential ramifications. It’s about staying relevant, staying in the headlines, and reminding everyone that he’s still the “master negotiator” (even when the evidence suggests otherwise).

The Implications (Or, Why You Should Be Very, Very Afraid)

Putting aside the sheer absurdity of the idea, Trump’s pronouncements have real-world implications. Foreign leaders, whether they like it or not, have to take him seriously. His words can move markets, influence policy, and even spark conflicts. The idea that he might meddle in Iran’s internal affairs, even rhetorically, could destabilize an already volatile region. Remember when he tweeted threats to North Korea? Good times, good times.

And what does this mean for the current administration’s efforts to de-escalate tensions with Iran? Probably not much good. It just adds another layer of uncertainty and unpredictability to an already complex situation. It’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube while someone keeps randomly changing the colors.

The Bigger Picture: Trump’s Foreign Policy “Genius”

Let’s be honest. Trump’s foreign policy has always been… well, let’s say “unconventional.” He cozied up to dictators, alienated allies, and generally seemed to operate on the principle that international relations are just another reality TV show. Remember when he tried to strong-arm Ukraine into digging up dirt on Biden? Or when he sided with Putin over his own intelligence agencies in 2018 regarding Russian interference in the election? Good times.

So, is it really surprising that he now wants to play kingmaker in Iran? Not really. It’s just par for the course. It’s Trump being Trump: unpredictable, self-aggrandizing, and utterly convinced of his own genius, despite all evidence to the contrary.

Is This Even Legal? (Spoiler: Who Cares?)

Okay, let’s pause for a second to consider the legality of a former president actively trying to influence the internal politics of a foreign nation. Is it a violation of the Logan Act? Probably not, since that law is rarely enforced and generally applies to private citizens negotiating with foreign governments *against* the interests of the United States. But the optics are terrible, and it certainly raises questions about conflicts of interest, especially given Trump’s ongoing business dealings.

Snarky Takeaway

So, to recap: Trump, the man who ripped up the Iran nuclear deal, now wants to pick Iran’s next leader. Because, you know, that makes perfect sense. It’s like hiring a pyromaniac to run the fire department. What could possibly go wrong?

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