Published on: Mon, 16 Feb 2026 15:37:00 GMT
Original Story: Trump’s DHS has shot 13 people during immigration enforcement operations since September. Here’s what to know. – NBC News

DHS Shoots 13, Claims It’s Performance Review

Oh, goodie. Just when you thought your student loans were the scariest thing lurking in the shadows, our good ol’ Department of Homeland Security has decided to spice things up. Apparently, since September, they’ve shot 13 people during immigration enforcement. Thirteen! I’m pretty sure my worst quarterly review involved passive-aggressive Slack messages, not actual firearms.

According to NBC News (because who else is gonna keep track of this?), the specifics are murky, which, of course, makes perfect sense. Transparency? Never heard of her. The official line is probably some sanitized version of “necessary force” or “unfortunate incident.” I bet there’s even a mandatory sensitivity training PowerPoint in there somewhere, right after the “How to Aim Your Weapon” seminar.

Look, I get it. Border security is a “complex issue,” blah blah blah. But shooting 13 people? That sounds less like upholding the law and more like a dystopian video game where the high score wins you a complimentary ICE raid on your neighbor’s abuela. And let’s be real, “extreme vetting” probably now involves dodging bullets while filling out form I-9.

I’m just saying, maybe instead of arming DHS with enough firepower to overthrow a small nation, we could invest in, I don’t know, processing paperwork faster? Or maybe some therapy for the agents? Because if your job requires you to shoot 13 people in a few months, something is fundamentally broken. But hey, at least it’s creating jobs, right? (For lawyers. And maybe therapists. Definitely therapists.)

So, next time you’re complaining about the line at Starbucks, remember: at least you’re not facing down a government-issued Glock. Silver linings, people. Silver linings.