Published on: Fri, 13 Feb 2026 18:09:00 GMT
Original Story: Trump pardons five ex-NFL players for crimes from perjury to drug trafficking – The Guardian

Trump Pardons… Well, You Knew It Was Coming

Oh goodie. Just when you thought the news couldn’t get any more predictable, here we are. Apparently, Trump, in his infinite wisdom (and questionable moral compass), has decided to bestow his blessings upon a handful of ex-NFL players. Because, you know, equal justice under the law is just a suggestion when you’re feeling generous (or politically expedient).

The crimes? Oh, a delightful smorgasbord of wrongdoing! Perjury! Drug trafficking! (Insert dramatic gasp here). Apparently, these aren’t dealbreakers when you’re trying to rally the base. I’m sure their crimes were *totally* worth the media coverage.

Let’s be honest, we all saw this coming, right? It’s like predicting the sun will rise in the east. The man’s got a well-documented history of pardoning his cronies, his loyalists, and anyone who might be able to help him stay out of jail. Why break the habit now?

And what’s the logic behind these particular pardons? I’m going to guess it’s all about optics and playing to the gallery. Maybe he figures a few football heroes will win him some votes. Or maybe he just likes the feeling of power. Whatever the reason, it’s the same old song and dance. The rules, apparently, don’t apply to those he deems “deserving.” (Read: those who support him or can be used as pawns.)

The whole thing is just so… predictable. It’s the same cynical playbook, over and over again. And frankly, it’s exhausting. Can we just fast-forward to the part where this whole charade is over? Please?

In the meantime, let’s all raise a glass of lukewarm coffee to the continued erosion of our legal system. Cheers, folks. We’re all winners here.

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