Congress Remembers Trade Wars Actually Hurt Us

Published on: Thu, 12 Feb 2026 03:23:00 GMT
Original Story: US House Defies Trump and Votes to End His Canada Tariffs – Bloomberg.com

The Great Poutine Peace Treaty of 2025

In a shocking turn of events that has me questioning if I’ve finally hallucinated my way out of this fluorescent-lit purgatory and into a parallel dimension, the House of Representatives actually did something that resembles logic. They voted to end the tariffs on Canada. Yes, Canada. Our neighbor to the north whose biggest export—besides maple syrup, Ryan Reynolds, and polite disappointment—is apparently a “national security threat” according to the current executive mood board. I haven’t seen this much bipartisan cooperation since my office collectively decided that the communal fridge smelled like a crime scene and needed to be purged.

I’ve spent the last three hours in a “synergy alignment” meeting trying to explain to a Gen Z intern why we can’t just “vibe” our way through a quarterly budget, so seeing the House actually push back against the “Tariff King” is a refreshing change of pace. It’s almost like they realized that taxing the wood we use to build houses and the aluminum we use to make the cans for our desperately needed hard seltzers might actually be a bad idea. Who knew? Certainly not the guy who thinks trade wars are “easy to win,” a statement that has the same energy as me saying I’m going to “finally fix my sleep schedule” on a Sunday night.

The Bloomberg report confirms that the vote was a rare moment of defiance. Republicans joined Democrats to say “thanks, but no thanks” to a trade policy that was essentially the economic equivalent of punching yourself in the face to prove how tough you are. It’s a bold move, considering the inevitable social media storm that’s about to descend on them. I’m sure the “loyalty” checks are already being drafted in some dark corner of Mar-a-Lago, and the primary threats are being sharpened like the pencils I haven’t used since 2012.

For those of us at The Center Point Daily, we’re just wondering how long this flirtation with reality will last. Canada is our largest trading partner, not a rogue state. Taxing their exports doesn’t make America great; it just makes my morning coffee, my IKEA furniture, and my fleeting dream of ever owning a home even more expensive. But hey, what do I know? I’m just an elder millennial whose back hurts from sitting in an “ergonomic” chair that clearly wasn’t designed for a human spine. If this is the start of a trend where Congress actually uses its brain, I might have to reconsider my retirement plan of just walking into the woods and hoping for the best. Probably not, though.

Expect the usual fallout: angry late-night posts, accusations of “RINO” behavior, and maybe a few threats to build a wall on the northern border out of sheer spite. Personally, I’m just glad I don’t have to pay a 25% “being a jerk” tax on my next bottle of Canadian whiskey. I’m going to need it to get through tomorrow’s “mandatory fun” team-building exercise.

Related Coverage:

• Six House Republicans defy Trump to block his Canada tariffs (via CNN)
• House votes to disapprove of Trump’s Canada tariffs (via Politico)
• Trump Oversells Recent U.S. Economic Growth (via FactCheck.org)