Published on: Sat, 07 Feb 2026 11:02:01 GMTOriginal Story: In economic speeches, Trump claims inflation victory nearly 20 times even as prices bite – Reuters Manifesting Lower Prices Like a Corporate Wellness Seminar Welcome back to the grind, fellow survivors of the 9-to-5 death march. I’m writing this while staring at a $14 salad that consists mostly of sad, wilted arugula and “hope,” so it was particularly refreshing to read that Donald Trump has apparently solved the inflation crisis through the sheer force of his own vocabulary. According to a recent Reuters tally, the former President has claimed victory over inflation nearly twenty times in his latest economic speeches. Twenty times. That’s roughly the same number of times I’ve considered faking my own death to avoid a “sync” meeting this week. The “Everything is Fine” Strategy It’s a bold move, honestly. It’s the political equivalent of your HR department sending out an email about “mindfulness” while they simultaneously cut the 401(k) match. Trump is out there telling crowds that inflation is a ghost of the past, even as those of us in the real world—the one where we don’t have a Secret Service detail to buy our Diet Cokes—are still watching the numbers on the gas pump spin like a slot machine that never pays out. It’s classic corporate gaslighting: if you repeat the lie often enough in a PowerPoint, the shareholders might actually believe it. The Reuters report notes that while the rhetoric is soaring, the actual “victory” is a bit… let’s call it “creatively interpreted.” It’s like when my boss says we’re “pivoting to a more agile framework” instead of admitting the project is a flaming dumpster fire. Trump is claiming the win because he thinks he can manifest a better economy by just being the loudest person in the room. It’s the “The Secret” for people who wear red hats and think gold-plated everything is a personality trait. Burnout and Budgeting For those of us who spent our formative years being told that a college degree was a golden ticket only to end up paying $7 for a loaf of bread that tastes like cardboard, this kind of talk is exhausting. We’re the generation of “doing more with less,” and now we’re being told that “less” is actually “more” because someone on a stage said so twenty times. I’ve tried telling my landlord that my rent has “symbolically decreased,” but for some reason, the automated payment portal doesn’t accept “vibes” as a currency. At the end of the day, this is just another Tuesday in the post-truth corporate hellscape. We’re being sold a version of reality that doesn’t match our bank statements, managed by people who haven’t seen the inside of a grocery store since the Razr phone was cool. So, if you see me in the breakroom staring blankly at the microwave, just know I’m not dissociating—I’m just trying to “manifest” a world where a dozen eggs doesn’t require a financing plan. Twenty times should do it, right? Related Coverage: Netanyahu to hold urgent meeting with Trump Wednesday amid Iran negotiations (via Axios) NSA detected foreign intelligence phone call about a person close to Trump (via The Guardian) Trump says “I didn’t make a mistake” after racist video of Obamas removed (via Axios) Post navigation California’s Main Character Syndrome Hits the Border Dicamba Is Back: Because Nature Was Too Green