Published on: Tue, 19 May 2026 21:33:00 GMT
Original Story: See How Trump’s Accounts Were Busy Trading Big Tech Stocks – WSJ

Trump Hearts Big Tech? Color Us Shocked.

Okay, folks, buckle up, because the WSJ just dropped a bombshell that’s less “bombshell” and more “predictable plot twist in a reality show.” Apparently, while Trump was out there railing against Big Tech as some kind of existential threat to, uh, freedom and America and puppies, his accounts were quietly making bank trading Big Tech stocks. Yes, *that* Big Tech. The very same companies he accused of being biased against him, silencing conservatives, and generally being the root of all evil (except maybe Hunter Biden’s laptop, but that’s a story for another day).

The Cognitive Dissonance is Real

I mean, seriously? It’s like watching your uncle rant about socialism while simultaneously cashing his social security check. The hypocrisy is so thick, you could spread it on toast. And you know what kind of toast? Probably some artisanal, organic, gluten-free toast that costs $12 a slice – the kind your uncle would also complain about.

Let’s not forget the good ol’ days when Trump was promising to “drain the swamp” and take on the “elites.” Now, we find out his financial team was playing the market like seasoned Wall Street sharks. The swamp seems to be thriving, y’all, and it’s got a very familiar orange hue. Remember all that tough talk about breaking up monopolies and regulating Silicon Valley into oblivion? Yeah, about that…

A Blast From The Past: Tariff Man Cometh (and Goeth)

This whole situation reminds me of 2018, when Trump was all about slapping tariffs on everything that moved, particularly steel and aluminum. He swore it was going to bring back American manufacturing, protect jobs, and make America great again. But what actually happened? American companies ended up paying more for raw materials, prices went up for consumers, and a whole lot of businesses got squeezed. He ultimately walked back many of those tariffs, but not before causing a whole lot of economic pain. So, you see, this dance with Big Tech is just the latest two-step in the Trumpian tango of contradictory policies and conveniently timed financial interests.

The Irony, It Burns!

And the irony! Oh, the sweet, sweet irony! While Trump was busy tweeting (or, you know, “truthing”) about how awful these companies are, his team was diligently buying and selling their stock. It’s almost Shakespearean, if Shakespeare were writing a comedy about a reality TV star turned politician who can’t seem to resist the allure of a good stock tip. Remember when he tried to ban TikTok? Good times. Bet someone was shorting the stock of whatever company was poised to benefit.

The Big Tech Grift?

So, what does this all mean? Well, it could mean a few things. Maybe Trump genuinely believes that Big Tech is a problem but also recognizes that it’s a lucrative one. Maybe he’s just playing 4D chess, and we’re all too simple-minded to understand his genius. Or maybe, just maybe, he’s a hypocrite who’s more interested in making money than keeping his promises. I know, shocking, right?

The implications for his future policies are also worth considering. Will he still talk tough on Big Tech? Probably. Will he actually do anything to fundamentally change the way these companies operate? That’s a much bigger question mark. After all, it’s hard to bite the hand that feeds you, especially when that hand is holding a fat stack of cash.

The Swamp Creatures are Thriving

And let’s be real, this isn’t just about Trump. This is about the whole damn system. It’s about the revolving door between politics and business, the cozy relationships between regulators and the companies they’re supposed to regulate, and the general sense that the rules don’t apply to the people at the top. It’s a swamp, alright, and it’s filled with creatures of all political stripes.

This also highlights a larger truth: campaign promises and political rhetoric are often just that – empty words designed to appeal to a specific audience. Actions, as they say, speak louder than words. And in this case, the actions of Trump’s accounts are screaming, “Show me the money!”

So, What Now?

Well, for starters, we can all take a moment to appreciate the sheer absurdity of it all. Then, maybe we can start demanding a little more transparency and accountability from our elected officials. And perhaps, just perhaps, we can start voting for people who actually mean what they say, or at least, who don’t actively profit from the very problems they claim to be fighting.

Snarky Takeaway

So, the next time you hear a politician railing against Big Tech, take it with a grain of salt. And maybe, just maybe, check their stock portfolio. Because in the world of politics, as in the world of reality TV, the only thing that’s real is the bottom line.